I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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