My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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