Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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