I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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