No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
