I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
