5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
my shit smells like andre
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Randomize
