no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
