$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize