every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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