Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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