If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
