I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
