I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
