just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
