You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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