But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize