It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
