You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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