i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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