Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
