When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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