i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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