Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
