I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
