We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
