Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
