Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
