This girl is more easily done than said...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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