She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
