I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
third nipple confirmed
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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