We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I think a kid would responsible me up
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
