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• (805): View more from California

  NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??

  (805): View more from California

  He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You should probably go find him.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  It's hard to explain...

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five

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• (941): View more from Florida

  She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar

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