So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
