quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
