You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize