you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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