i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
