just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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