i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
