I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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