no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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