I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
