escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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