I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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