what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
