Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
