? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
