just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
