I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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