We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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