Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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