it wasn't lemon gatorade
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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