There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize