the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
