no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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