I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
