I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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