dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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