You really coming over, don't trick.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
