i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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