Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
