You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
