you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She needs sedatives and a leash
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
