Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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