I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
