wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
